First entry! My grand entrance.

I created this account due to my buddy Mary (n0smoking.blogspot.com). I'd like to dedicate this entry to her because I know she will read it. Unlike xanga, anything that is posted here, I know at least one definite person will read it and care. On xanga, I realize people do read my posts, but don't seem to care! Which makes Mama Lily very sad.

Side note: For the ever unsolved mystery, I use "Lily" because my Vietnamese name is Ly Le (pronounced "Lee Lay") but, of course, not-so cultured folks pulvarize it to be "Lee Lee" or "Lie Lee." Therefore, I adapted Lily as my online handle ever since I discovered you can have something called a screen name. It's funny how chatting now is definitely not the same as when you're a pubescent, emotional, insecure rollercoaster. Moving along.

First off, my writing is nothing extraordinary - but I try my best to sound (somewhat) intelligent (I suppose like anyone else who blogs, right?). I started this blog up is because I was going back to my first entries on xanga (back in '03, but it felt like decades ago!) and realized how different life was back then. I sounded so naive and insecure. I was so selfish as well. It was a big turning point in my life when I heard people thought I was undependable, which was a shot in the foot for me. I made a real big effort to change that - and I hope, dear God, that I've succeeded to some degree. You can't just make a 180, but you can always improve. I realized the best way to make myself not undependable is to limit putting myself in a situation where people have to depend on me. It sounds simple enough, but it's definitely not. Because people depending on you makes you feel human and belonged. My self-confidence was much lower just a few years ago, so to feel more belonged, I put myself on the line so much so that I couldn't keep up with all the people depending on me. So I simply forgot or backed out last minute. Forgive me, but I was overwhelmed and had low self-esteem. I've learned the hard way (through my mistakes and those around me) that, as all those self-help advice out there says, communication is key. I don't mean to be cocky, but I pat myself on the back for my highly upgraded communcation skills. I give credit to marrige for this turning point in my philosophies - I highly recommend it. I find it very ironic how I recommend marriage when I was the epitomy of anti-marriage prior!

Anyway, I still haven't said exactly why I started this blog. Just simply - a fresh start. I'm naive in a different way now. Perhaps when I stumble upon this entry in about 5 years (as I did with my old xanga entries), I'll grin at how different I seemed. Afterall, I'm a new wife/parent, so it's only appropriate I have a fresh start.

Weird/coincidental dream:

I just went on my 4th cruise last week, the first one to the eastern Carribeans. Very nice indeed, but I will discuss that in a later entry. Well, needless to say, I dreamed that I was on a cruise. It was docked at a dark-water lake, which is really odd because cruises only dock at oceans, but when you're dreaming weird stuff, you just accept it and wake up thinking "WTH?" - you get my drift. People were jumping and playing about in the water. I remember the ambiance and positive air around me, so this dream by no means was a nightmare. The oddest thing about the dream were the people. I was on this cruise with people that I haven't seen since high school (not to mention my first high school, that I only attended for one year before moving my sophomore year to another one) and people who I don't even talk to - that I simply met once or twice or just heard of through my social ring.

At one point, I was exchanging phone calls with one of my high school friends, Tracy, because she was about to board the ship and wanted to meet up with my group and me. (In reality, I haven't seen this chick literally since high school, and not to mention she doesn't even live in Houston now.) Another odd thing here, all passengers (minus entertainers) board the ship from the beginning of the cruise. Anyway, this girl is about to board, and I'm saying, "Yeah, call me when you get here!" After hanging up, I waited for a tram (yes, a tram on a ship! maybe in 2156 - or sooner!) that takes you to the other side of the ship, where my group was. Soon after, I woke up.

Back to reality. Lil P woke up at 7:30am, which made Papa Bear get up too, allowing me to sleep in a bit, since I did night duty. I got up at 8:30am, took over Lil P duty, while Papa went to sleep again. Once P fell asleep for his morning nap, I get on the computer (here I am). My previous stop before starting a blogspot was none other-than Facebook. Once I log in, what do I see? Lo-and-behold it's Tracy's birthday today!

What are the odds of that? I wasn't even close to this person even when I did know her. And I dreamed about her? On her birthday too? Scary. OK, maybe not that scary, but a big coincidence nonetheless!

Alright, this entry is long enough. I'll post some eye-candy next time, promise!