Blogging, blogging, where art thou?

So I'm at a loss lately as to what to post/write in this thing. I would log in, catch up with my subscriptions, and then feel like whatever I need to write about is unimportant and no one would care to read about it anyway because everyone's blogs are so great! Yeah, I know this thing is more for myself than anything, but forgive me for liking it when people actually pay attention to what I have to say. I guess it's that boredom and losing myself that has caught up to me from being a SAHM. I sometimes want to be selfish because I feel as if I sacrifice my own mind and well-being these days. And being selfish is very rare and far between. I would occasionally bargain shop to feel a little better but it's so fleeting and whatever I buy, I don't really have the chance to wear! The major shopping I do these days is, of course, grocery and errands. Life has put this on my plate - that I'm the kind of mother that won't get alone time at all, if any. And if I do, well, some kind of miracle has come upon me. I haven't been able to be all out alone, in several, several months. I'm somewhat traumatized to even try because when I do, I'm constantly worried about the boys (including hubby) since I'm not used to being alone. If I'm out, it's usually with the hubby. Motherhood = sacrifice. Period.

But sometimes..just sometimes..I want to be by myself. Is that too much to ask? Can someone just take it upon themselves to let me enjoy myself without feeding someone, telling someone to sit down, sit still, be quiet, or not run away?

Sighhhhhhhh......

See, this is why I don't blog...because I'm always reaching out for something when I do. It's my vent and release. I end up sounding depressed, desperate, and lonely. Who doesn't feel like this at times though? Ugh.