"And so it is..

just like you said it would be." ~ Damien Rice, The Blower's Daughter.

I love listening to that song. During a run on the treadmill the other day, I came across this song on my mp3 player. It was nice to just slow down and take a breather and take in this song. It's moments like these that I realize I need to really slow down sometimes and take that much-needed breather. I don't know that I need it until I actually take that break. I'm not complaining. I do enjoy being a SAHM, although it's hectic and bitterness and loneliness become all too familiar. Sadly, I'd rather work to get that time away from the kids so I can better appreciate them when I'm with them. But leaving one kid with the sitter was one thing, but now two, just near impossible.

Which is why I'm taking this break now (sort of, considering this is the 5th time I've sat down to type in this thing). So anyway, after changing the two boys, feeding them, medicating P, walking them with the dog, and then coming back and finally eating breakfast myself and taking my vitamins (not to mention I haven't been able to make the coffee yet), I'm able to sit here and update you. And sadly enough, I'm pretty much done.

But other random things I've been up to:
~ quit my job (after returning for only 6 weeks, I realized the kids needed me more than I needed my job)
~ started the P90X (on day 4 - feeling the results already!)
~ improved my photography a tad
~ got the sewing machine I've been wanting - oh, the possibilities! that I haven't tried yet, but in due time..like when the kids aren't needing something (which is only a few minutes at a time, not allowing me to get into anything..sigh) or when I'm not exhausted after they're in bed already.
~ went to Cali on our first trip with both the kids to visit the new nephew, who is two months younger than R
~ contemplating graduate school in the case when I do go back to work (whenever that is), I realize I want more
~ went to San Antonio over the Memorial Day weekend on another family trip for the kids' first visit to Seaworld and stayed on the Riverwalk. There's a military offer for free tickets to Seaworld that all military personnel can take advantage of once a year - go for it, all you military folk!

Bottom line, I'm all about motherhood right now. In the meantime, I'll prepare for the future if I can't take this anymore. I'm frazzled 99% of the time. P is always tapping or grabbing my arm (even while I type this) saying "Mama, (insert demand here - i.e. snack, milk, outside)!" And oddly enough, my baby R is not the one who requires most of my attention. I'm so grateful R came out to be the complete opposite of his older brother, very docile and content most of the time, which allows me to give P the attention he needs (or screams for actually). Ah, P's wonderful terrible twos are upon us.

'Til next update.